What´s the best way to bring up a child?

I haven´t got the faintest idea. Nor do I trust the opinions, formulas nor the instincts of the majority of people.

So what do we do? How do we give our children every opportunity possible to grow, develop and become better versions of ourselves? Or just better…people. (It´s not really about perpetuating our own selves into immortality, is it, grumble grumble… All this they told us about furthering our own genes was a big trick! A trap!)

But seriously, it´s difficult. I know a few people, brilliant, wise, kind, people who have horrible devils for children. Wild, untameable children. There is definitely something that is out there to defeat us. Some rogue gene that we never knew we carried, but that bode its time and struck just at the moment we made our lives more complicated then they had ever been before.

And even if they are calm, well behaved little devils, every day we are confronted with difficult decisions. Be lenient, be strict, explain candidly or sugar-coat until they are more emotionally developed. Make them happy or make them responsible, let them make their own mistakes, let them learn from other people, oh god oh god it´s all so confusing.

But one thing that we can do is expose them to lots of different ideas, sights, sounds, smells and people. Taking a family on holiday is usually expensive. And it´s so important that children have the chance to see a different country. They find it so overwhelming and wondrous when they do get to see other parts of the world. Filling them with awe not only helps them develop intelligence, knowledge, a bank of experience, but it also spurs on their imagination. But with home exchange this is all possible, on the cheap!

For me, the most important thing of all is that they learn that people from other cultures are not WEIRDOS. Taking a child on a foreign home exchange can be so fruitful for their development that they can even begin learning a new language. But even if this doesn´t happen, they learn an incredible amount about different cultures and countries. They learn that people from different places aren´t simply a “concept”, but a living reality of people. People who are just as normal as they are.

This is a fundamental aspect of a brilliant mind. Being open. And the best way to help your child maintain and cultivate their unjudging innocence, is to flood them with pictures and pieces of the world around them. Home exchange puts you in touch with the world and helps your children connect.

When I think of my friends, I rarely try to explain their individual behaviour in terms of them “being British”. It would get pretty insane if I did that. You might as well cite that “we´re made of carbon” as the motivation behind every thought, feeling or action. It doesn´t really make any clearer the reason why your friend decided to start obsessively hoovering the floor of their car every day. Or quite why another friend may get really awkward and start shrieking with laughter everytime that you pass the bus-stop. (Maybe it just tickles her? Or maybe she´s mad. It´s probably not a “cultural” thing though, whatever it is.)

We are impossibly complicated creatures. There is nothing in this life that we can´t confound, destroy, tangle, ruin, damage, warp or obfuscate in some way. Each and every one of us. And sometimes our ways of doing this are very original and creative.

Yet there is still a UNIVERSAL tendency to make generalisations based on nationality.

That the English say “sorry” all the time. That the Italians are hot-blooded. That the Spanish are lazy. That the Americans live for work. That Northern Europeans are cold and Southern Europeans are hot-headed.

So when we go to a foreign country, it is a brilliant chance to say, “Look! I know my country´s football fans pee in the street, but I swear to you I´m NOT going to do that, with god as my witness!” And as home exchange really allows you the chance to introduce yourself into the community of the new place, you can actually have conversations, socialise, and have your children play with the local children.

So not only do you get the envigorating sensation of being around new and exciting people, but you can also banish some of the pre-conceptions that people might have about you.

Travelling is not just about plane sickness, buildings and weather. It´s about people. We all have our quirks, but with home exchange we can celebrate these for what they are, rather than living on the false economy of national stereotypes.